Of Heartbreaks and Hasty Decisions

Hello there! It’s amatsu here, Principal’s typesetter. Hats won’t be here to give you today’s release and I’m posting in her stead. I don’t really know what to talk about, but maybe I could tell you something about myself? I can’t write as well as Hats, but I hope I don’t bore you all to death.

I’m a 21-year-old girl who has just moved to another country last year. Maybe I could talk about that? Last year I graduated from college, applied to this scholarship and now after almost a year of studying another language (a requisite of the whole thing) I’m finally about to enter graduate school in about a month. It’s amazing how much this move changed me.

I remember applying with the crazy mindset of “I just need to get in.” That was all I thought of. I didn’t think about the required language year (which killed my spirit so many times) and I definitely didn’t think how tolling leaving my best friends and my family could be. Why did I think studying classes in a completely different and new language was going to be easy? I don’t know. I was just focused on making this ~independent living abroad~ dream come true. And that is why, since my first week until now my heart is still broken.

But that’s good, right? I learned to appreciate how good my life was. You truly don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, etc. etc. I don’t have to be here for 10 years. I actually just have two years left, but it sure feels like I thoughtlessly let go of 3 years of home. It’s a weird feeling. Maybe I’m not as independent and brave as I thought I am?

Now after a year of adjustment, I’d like to think I’m comfortable with myself and where I am now. It’s like being put into a pressure cooker. I’ve been able to come to terms with parts of myself that I’ve never wanted to within the comforts of home.

Heartbreaks aren’t all that bad. The ache is what keeps us alive. I have new friends now and will continue to make more. I’ll make myself a new home and find my new favorite people.

Well now that I’ve bared my heart, I’d like to present you all a whole volume release of Principal! I just love this manga, don’t you? It’s like the perfect heartbreak manga. Shima is every one of us. Her loneliness is just so appealing to me. Ha! We all enjoy self-pity but when you share it with a fictional character it’s even better, right? Anyway, this is definitely an important volume for the series and I can’t wait for you all to read it.

Principal Vol. 5

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Comments (17)

  1. Minelauva August 1, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    I only spent a few months abroad, unlike you, but I see what you mean. It was a weird feeling, being constantly out of my comfort zone. I loved it, because it was challenging and it made daily life interesting, but it was also exhausting, and kind of lonely indeed. I’m an introverted person though, and I happen to enjoy loneliness, so I didn’t really mind that. When I arrived, the most simple things, that I never had to think about before, like ordering coffee, became challenges. I was used to being able to express myself perfectly well, easily, with all the nuances I wanted, without thinking about it. I wasn’t used to feeling clumsy and kind of ridiculous all the time. Classes were a challenge too. I was an exchange student in graduate school. I was used to being good. My habits were already forged. And suddently I had to change them, all of them. The way I studied, the way I attended class, the way I interacted with teachers, the way we were graded, everything. I had to check my papers for stupid mistakes, when I’ve been able to write in French flawlessly since elementary school. I used to think my English was good, but when I got confronted with graduate students who had spoken and written in English all their lives, I realized how naive I was being. This short experience changed me, so I can imagine how it must be for you, who are getting a degree abroad. But I don’t regret it. I actually feel nostalgic when I think back on those days. It wasn’t easy but it definitely wasn’t boring either. I hope you’ll enjoy this experience. I know it sounds cliche but time goes by so fast!

    • amatsu September 1, 2015 at 8:43 am

      I also consider myself an introvert and I agree so much with everything you said. What makes it more difficult is I enjoy being alone, shopping by myself, commuting etc but now it’s not as natural and as easy as it used to be. I have to meet so many new people and really try to leave the shyness and hesitation out of every situation. I also saw this quote on tumblr once, I think it was from this show Modern Family, the character is latina (Sofia Vergara) and she was like “You don’t know how smart I am in Spanish!” It’s amazing, new languages…

      Graduate school is starting for me now. The classes are going to be all in a different language. The professors are not gonna treat me specially. I’m extremely nervous. I don’t really know how to deal with it but I’ll go to my classes and try my best. I hope time flies faster so I find a routine already! Haha.

  2. Diana July 10, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    I empathize; I remember feeling so driven to get in my dream university without weighing the possible consequences; I got in and I’m starting senior year soon but I still haven’t completely adjusted ;__; getting accepted brought to light so many things I dislike about myself that I didn’t pay any attention to before. 🙁 But ah life is like that, I guess. Good luck!! It’s good that you’re coping and doing better! 🙂

    • amatsu July 10, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      Thank you! Ah, I think I felt the same way when I was in university. I got in my dream school, but I wasn’t happy with my major so I shifted. That was a great decision. I hope you find your way too! One thing I regret about college is how quickly I got out of it. I wish I took more time taking classes that I really wanted to take even if they won’t be credited. I wish I took more risks. If there’s anything I can tell you it would be that, just take your time. Graduation comes by so fast.

  3. Cora July 7, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    Thank you for Principal. You’ve done a great job as always. I love this manga and I wish it could be released in my country.

    Anyway, it went not so bad at the end, eh? Good luck in your life, wherever you go 🙂

  4. Kusa July 5, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    You write cute! Good luck in that strange country. You have my solidarity as a 21 yr old.

  5. LeB July 5, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    I know how that feels. I moved to a different country to study when I was 17 and then moved to another one when I was 20. I was happy to go back home when I was 25 but I dearly miss the friends I made while I was abroad and am proud of what I achieved when I look back. Been back for almost 2 years now. Enjoy your next 2 years as much as you can! 🙂 Time flies!

    P.S: Thanks a lot for the releases!

    • amatsu July 6, 2015 at 1:49 am

      I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. 17 is so young! Thank you for cheering me on! Life does feel better now. A friend of mine who’s been studying abroad, moving from countries to countries for maybe 10 years now, told me that when she went back home it was just not the same anymore. She felt displaced and excluded from everyone. I won’t be gone for that long, but that’s really sad. I’m glad it went well for you though! That’s really inspiring.

  6. Rexy July 5, 2015 at 9:34 am

    Thank you for sharing your story with us! I think you are incredibly brave and strong to move to another country and build a life here (if only for 3 years). I hope to see more of your posts in the future with snippets and observations of your experiences so far while living here! Any culture shocks? Any amusing quirks? How about foods/items back home that you can’t easily get here?

    • amatsu July 6, 2015 at 1:55 am

      Thank you for listening (reading?)! I think I was just foolish and hasty as I always am with the big decisions of life. If I had another chance then I would love to talk about those things. 🙂

  7. Lin July 4, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    Thank you for the release, amatsu!
    And thank you for bearing a bit of your heart with us 🙂 I’m about to be in the same situation as you, except it’ll be working abroad rather than studying. And I can say so far my mindset has been a bit similar to yours, ahah…
    I wish you luck in your remaining two years!

    • amatsu July 6, 2015 at 1:57 am

      Maybe the mindset that we share isn’t that bad? It keeps everything exciting haha. I wish you luck too for your move! We’ll have the best stories, at least. 🙂

  8. Senna July 4, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    A … whole volume of the ever-awesome Principal? A WHOLE VOLUME?! You guys are so super amazing, I can’t even put it into words *A* You rock!! Thank you.

  9. Parparak July 4, 2015 at 8:17 am

    I don’t think I would be able to show you how thankful I am. Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. I hope with new release of all other projects you would surprise us like this one. Thank you again.

  10. Filli July 4, 2015 at 1:59 am

    Thank you, thank you, thank you [x1000]. It’s my favourite story, and I already know that I will sink in tears, but just let me to thank you

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