Nagging Aunts, Mustachio-ed Distant Cousins, Bu Bu Jing Xin & Release
Yes, I’m alone on Valentines, re-watching episodes of Bu Bu Jing Xin on my laptop and sobbing uncontrollably as Rouxi (the demure Liu Shi shi) hugs 4th Prince/Emperor Yongzhen (the sexy Nicky Wu) for perhaps the last time, finally admitting to him that she is not Rouxi but a modern woman from the future, Zhang Xiao. All the sniffling has caught the attention of my father’s equally deranged sister, who coos and caws and hems and haws at me about my singleness from the other end of the room. My aunt will often shoot me a look that is saying, “You should be out celebrating with a husband, not in front of the TV oozing snot out of your nose!” It doesn’t help that she’s taken up a new Valentines Day ritual: Showing me photos of slimy-looking toads of men, one being a mustachio-ed distant cousin from Chiang Mai. *struggles to suck back in her vomit*
Apparently all unmarried women in her native country must have ended up hanging themselves or jumping into a swamp full of crocodiles or setting themselves on fire or something, and that explains why she’s so eager to see me attached to someone, even if it means an arranged marriage with a stranger half-way across the planet.
Mimi Aunty (musing): What about that cute Hong Kong boy you were seeing?
Me (groaning outwardly): Old news!
And, really, I’m telling the cold, hard truth. It makes you feel disgustingly miserable to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t in love with you. I don’t want to subject myself to that kind of torture. So, Aunty, as much as I love you, quit showing me those damned photos! Or if you’re going to do it, at least realize that I’d like to date someone of my own species: Human, not toad.
But, yes, today is Valentines and Singles Awareness Day. While those of you with that special someone will be spending your time with/fantasizing about him/her, I will be cradling my pillow, weeping like baby, with only LongShi to comfort me.