It’s Raining Men

…I wish. These past few months have been as dry as a desert for me. I know, I know. I sound totally desperate, but, (and I’m going to channel Ally Mcbeal here), all I ever wanted was to be rich and successful and to have three kids and a husband waiting at home to tickle my feet and look at me…. I don’t even like my hair!

If only I looked older, then I’d know for sure if these guys who want to date me aren’t actually pedophiles.

Seriously, I think people actually believe I’ve found this eternal fountain of youth thing. On days with enough sleep, I look akin to a cherubic fifteen year old. I wish I could gloat over this fact, but it happens to be the cause of endless embarrassment for me. I was over at my ex’s place today, trying to prevent my legs from catapulting into his nuts from frustration, and his older brother pulls up a chair beside me, studies my profile for a good long while, and then says, “Last time I saw you, you were in a booster seat, right?” And then as he’s about to walk out the door, he spots my BCBGeneration ‘Anthony’ Wedge Sneakers at the entrance and shouts from across the hallway, “Dude! These are so tiny! I could hang these off my rear-view mirror like little ornaments!” They say guys tease you because they like you, but I seriously think this guy is out to get me.

Anyway, with that event still fresh in my mind, my foray (an hour ago) into the zoo we call Wal-Mart for Sherlock Season 3 and a bottle of apple cider really got under my skin. I was seriously about to flip some tables over.

Mimi is at the cash register. She puts down a bottle of Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider and proceeds to empty the rest of her cart.

Young Cashier Who Looks Like an Actress Playing a Bored College Student: Um, I’m going to have to see some ID.

Mimi (exasperated): Really? You’ve got to be kidding me!

Mimi turns over the bottle so that the label is showing, and smugly notes the muscle spasms of embarrassment spread over the cashier’s face.

Lightning might strike me for saying this, but I wish I looked older, I wish I looked older, I wish I looked ooooooolder!

But I won’t keep you waiting any longer because I know you’re not just here to read my drivel.

Men, men, and more men, in the form of Professor Jun Kaieda, in all six, gloriously complete chapters of Otoko no Issho Volume 1. (And I don’t care what you say about him, I find his weird neck endearing.) Download | Read Online

And of course, Chiruhi Story 4: Download | Read Online
Quite an endearing short story about a young girl who bumps into a lost deity, and decides to take him home with her.

and Principal Ch.14: Download | Read Online
Shima, Shima Papa, Wao, and Wao Mama go out on a trip to the zoo. Knowing that Gen and Haruka will also be there, Shima goes with a heavy heart. What will she find there: Happiness, or pain?

By hats99

A takoyaki-fiend who refuses to sleep more than 4 hours a day.

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